Lifes Journey begins on the inside....discover potential and understand infinite possibilities
PROLOGUE
GERMANI
October 11, 2007
9:58 p.m.
The fateful call came in.
The credits to a re-run episode of Grey's Anatomy had begun to play.
I didn't answer on the first ring.
I was too busy wallowing in aggravation and exhaustion as I devoured a plate full of grease-laden buffalo wings and mozzarella sticks.
My husband, Scott's, porn obsession was wearying me out. Nothing I said or did seemed to matter. My feelings of confusion, shame, loneliness and rejection were ignored by the man I vowed to love unconditionally; wasted on deaf ear like a bruised apple tumbling from a windblown tree.
Scott's attention was consumed by sexual images on his computer from the Internet, DVD's from the local sex shops, and those videos from Pay-Per-View. It was more than I could handle. More than I knew how to deal with. Maybe if he acknowledged how bad things were, we wouldn't be at ends. Maybe. But he kept making excuses; justifying his actions at the expense of our family.
There's only so much understanding that a woman can give before...enough becomes enough.
It brought to mind when I saw a colorful logo on the bumper sticker of a Yugo parked at the grocery store that read 'SEX SELLS'. Made me think it was too bad that same statement didn't come with a warning.
Sex kills too.
The phone's ringing interrupted my sulking.
I was willing to let that call go to voicemail, but curiosity compelled me to answer just from the phone number flashing across my television.
“Germani?” an anguished voice cracked after I answered.
The caller on the other end of the line was familiar, but sounded in worse condition than I felt. I couldn't put my finger on it. There was no other definition to describe the conversation beyond peculiar. When the caller made a shocking confession I saw warning signs and red flags go up all around me.
I put the caller on hold while I went to the bathroom to wash the remnants of my meal from my greasy hands. The caller needed better advice than I could give. I was clueless on how I'd help 'em with my own thoughts all messed up. But I knew I had to do something. On the way back to the family room I grabbed a New King James Bible off the bookshelf near the computer center and flipped through as I walked. I tried to find the right words amongst the pages as my mind drew blanks. By the time I made it back to the phone with Bible in clean hands, a busy signal blared through and the caller was gone.
My heart quickened as I thought about what to do next.
10:41 p.m.
Blood
There was blood everywhere when I made it to the caller's home. Deep crimson streaks that saturated vanilla satin sheets and rained burgundy droplets onto the Persian area rug beneath the bed.
I stood planted against the door frame like a wisteria vine attached to aluminum siding. I was too afraid to step in the room and too disturbed to walk away.
Music was playing. The eighties song “Real Love” by a group named Skyy ended. An eerie silence penetrated the air for just a few seconds. The song began to play again. Somebody had put it on repeat.
Don’t be afraid of the way you feel.
Fear came quickly. I was too late.
I couldn't think as my eyes stayed locked on the crimson streaks, mesmerized like a teenager on an acid trip. Dazed and stunned, my lips slowly opened as my brain processed. I was in the middle of a gory crime scene and somebody was dead...murdered. Suddenly terror filled the once irritated space of my abdomen where aggravation was devoured by panic and I screamed at the top of my lungs.